merenungkan dalam kesendirian

haaahhh... andai aj dy tau betapa gk enkny di rumah ndiri.
oke dg anjing 2 ekor.
andai aj dy tau klo dsni itu bnr2 asu dan bkin gue nangis at least sebulan 5 kali ( sumpah gue selang aer abs)

andai aj dy tau klo grja itu useless mnrt gue dsni,. its not my safe ground dude!
klo aj dy tau klo tmn2 gue care abs ma gue
klo aj dy tau klo mata gue bru aj ketets abothyl gra2 keslhn gue ndiri
klo aj dy tau klo leher gue gk bsa nengok gra2 sala tidur
klo aj dy tau gue lgi nangis pas nulis ini.

cape gue!!!! asuuuu......
klo aj dy tau, dy bru nambah mslh gue
daftar mslh gue
1. grja dan c A
2. temen yg bkin gue tmbh pusing
3. s bf yg lugu abs, pcrn serasa jalan2 mnggu doank. bgus bgt.

hey, hear me mom
u keep talking bou what should i do and about my grades
did u ever consider how much i love u?
did u give me my freedom that i really want?
did u know i feel jelous with my friends who live with their FAMILY???

yes live sucks and i fucked up.
with all of ur advice i'm grateful for that

but i wish so u can understand my feelings

the hope that i wish i had it

cape gue ma loeeee

knapa cwo itu susa dimengerti ya??? ooohhh... fucking shit.

sebtulny gue gk mnta ampe diperhatiin ampe kyk skype tiap malem ato mnta dikelonin tidur. tpi plis dh, jgn menghilang tanpa jejak. mang lo kira gue gk khawatir apa?????

shit shit shit shitt

great im totally fucked up

and hell yea' he got me.

emang enak apa chat doank, mang gue ini pacaran ma laptop gue ato ma manusia sh????? * pgn jewer th kuping*

jeles lah gue ngeliat tmn gue bsa skype kpn aj ampe ditemenin tidur ma cwony. gila cwo gue? sms aj gk, telp? jgn ditanya. skype? gue uda gk arep.
sumpah this is the worst bf i've ever met. :(

yup, 2 ari gk ksh kabar and dy dateng lgi dg note yg so sweeettt~~~~~~ dan yg pling bgus:

HE ACTED LIKE NOTHING HAPPENS

gue pas buka fb gue liat ada message d inbox gue dan pas gue buka kluarlah note yg indah itu. bgus sh rayuanny cuma sori aj nh, gk mempan ma gue..... gue bukan tipe yg suka cwo gomball!!

mdng lo ksh perhatian k gue dg smua sms yg paling singkat kyk: lgi ap? ati2 ya. dri pda :

bilang dunia terasa hampa tanpa dirimungelamun sendiri entah mau ngapainngga ada semangat untuk melakukan sesuatuakhirnya pikiran melayang-layangdan hati berkata kujenguk engkau dalam mimpikunamun dalam lamunan kau datangku coba tuk menyentuh mutapi ternyata semua semusenyum mu yang slalu membayangikumembuat hatiku semakin pilu memikirkanmu,,

oke, ini gue copy paste. sori klo berantakan. xp.
maybe its good tpiiii.... life is not a note mannnn.... i can be mean to him, more than this but i want him although yeah i know, its forbidden love.

dan stlh gue bales dg kata2 yg ( gue arep) bsa bkin dy mikir ttg prsaan gue

bru dah dy mau nelp gue

AKHIRNYAA...... MSTI YA CWO DIGNIIN??? MANG ENAK APA DIMARAHIN MA CWE NDIRI???

tpi gue uda keburu pait. ia lah scra gue ngerasa kq kyk gni sh, msti hrs dibilangin bru jalan. kyk gue mecut kebo aj dah. mang gue paksa dy? klo gk mau yah gk usah! mang dikirain gue gk bsa idup tanpa lo? sori ya, yg ngejar gue banyak!!!!

readers,... yes love sucks.

beauty needs sacrifice

pagi smua.... hri ini sutralia sejuk rda2 berangin secara australia memasuki musim gugur. ( hix, kmnp gk summer ato semi trs sh?) kn enak, hehehhehe...

oia, i just perm my hair!!

curly, well, berantakan sh, tpi itu pertamany, klo uda ngebentuk. loose psti jdi keren, huehehhehehehe
makany msti nunggu 24 jam sblom bole dicuci. (hu-uh) blom lgi treatmentny. ypi itu sebandinglah ma cantik yg dikasih ma perm ini.

pas gue d perm, uda ngantuk2, pdhl gue uda lama gk d salon lho!!! si mba e tarik2 rambut gue lgi trs di roll gtu biar ngebentuk. trs semprot obat, diemin, panasin ( emang gue nasi hainam????) trs kasih obat lgi, ( gue uda kebelet kencing, pgn makan, dan tidur) trs cabut th gulungan. sakit rambut ditarik2, msti nahan th perm bsrta roll2ny yg bejibun itu dan akhirnya....HOILAAA!! gue brubah jd:


taylor swift...

eh jgn ditutup dulu blogny, bole dh lo pda muntah tpi serius mang jdi kyk gtu. SERIUSS! emm....

tpi jd keren kq rambut gue, walau bau obat smua. huhuhu.

yg gue gk tau dr perming ini, perawatanny byk bgtttt!!! gue diterangin aj uda ampe gk ngerti. yg gue paham:
1. abs perm tunggu 24 jam bwt bsa cuci rambut
2. klo abs bgn tidur rda loose, gk pa2 cuci aj and it will ngembang lgi.
3. cuci rambut perm MUST USE SPECIAL SHAMPOO AND CONDITIONER ( $29 AND $ 39)
4. blom lgi ksh CREAM FOR CURL AND PERM KE RAMBUT (MUST DO MENURUT SI MBA E)
omgggggg... gue ampe bengong, gk nyangka uda ngeluarin duit $ 166 perawatanny bsa ampe $ 100 lgi. sadis boooo..... tpi ya itu, hasil sebanding ma perawatan.

tpi berhubung gue ngerasa gue butuh nh treatment scra rambut lama gue mirip sapu ijuk drpda rambut sunsilk ( sapa th yg bkin rambut di iklan shampoo? bole dah deal ma rambut gue!) jd gue rsa itu worth it lah.

well,.. beauty needs sacrifice, right girls?

love and chinese new year in oz really really luck!

hohohohohoh.... uda lama gk update blog. jd canggung mau ngmng apa. heheheheh.

kebangun di 14 februari yg panas ini dg alarm hpe gue yg canggih itu. hri itu gue bgn pagi2 lho, khusus bwt nge curl rambut gue. biar jauh dr rumah ttp hrs keren n cantik dunk. cwe gtu loh....!!! pas gue buka fb, gue liat ada message satu.

and it was from him

telling he loves me.

gue syok, gue ktawa, gue terharu. gue pikir gk mngkn lah ya. wong dy blom pnh ktmu gue dlm 5 taon how could he loved me? it seems stupid and so impossible. isnt it?

and here i am, addicted to you.

happy valentine, babe. i love you.

asam manis cinta

hi guys,

back with spirit, gue uda mengatasi perasaaan bersalah gra2 fail. trs klo FAIL knp? itu memang bukan sesuatu yg bisa lo banggakan (ialah!) tpi bukan sesuatu yg memalukan jga. kec lo gk naek kls gtu tpi kn ini cuma 1 subject doank. dan seharusny wajar lah klo org mengalami suatu kegagalan dlm hal cinta ato even academic! mang ada ap org yg selalu berhasil di hidupny? jawabanny GK ADA! smua org psti prnh trial and error d hidupny. misalny aj: temen gue namany Anna (nama disamarkan) dy curhat ke gue:
A: gue sedih bgt
Gue: knp lgi na? ( mulai prihatin)
A: gue masak tomyam trs gagal. hiks. sedih bgt
gue:...
gue: HAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHHAHAHA
A: jahat lo
gue: lo masak tomyam? gagal? trs lo sdih?
A: iya.
gue: ( mkin ngikik) gk pa2 lah, itu kn bwt experience
A: (kliatanny mkin sedih) klo gtu gue bli d luar aj.....
tuh kan, dari gue dan A fail itu bisa trjadi kapan aj, dimana aj, dan utk hal apa saja. huehehehehehhe, niru bang napi. wapadalah!!!!

ok, back to cinta2an ini.

kebayang gk sh lo klo lo lgi suka ama seseorg tiba2 dy bilang,"oh my God, lo tau gk kemaren gue ktmu nh cwo (ato cwe, trgntng keadaan lo lah ya). and i love her/ him at the first sight. gmna nh, gue gk bsa berenti mmikir ttg dy!!!" sementara itu, yes, you love him/ her.

gue jga pnh ngerasa kyk gtu ama mntan ex- gebetan gue, pas gue asik ngbrl ambil caper, eh dy bilag, gue suka bgt ma nh cwe. gue msti ngapain y vlin bwt dapetin atiny? gue diem, syok, mulut gue berbusa dan gue pingsan. ok, ini lebay bgt. tpi emang, rsany emang sakit bgt wktu lo dnger
org yg lo suka menyukai org laen.

klnjtanny ya, gue nyaranin ini itu cara, ( gue uda mau nangis pas ksh tauny dan berharap dy d tolak.) dan dy ditolak sodara2! hohoohohooh

gue jd inget laguny taylor swift yg tears drop on my guitar,
he is the reason tears drop on my guitar..

omg itu nusuk bgt lho. yah mnurut gue sh lo better nyerah kalah ato lo mnta kejelasan. bukan nembak loh! repot jga sh klo kyk gni. klo gue sh ttp bntu dy dg tidak niat dan berdoa ditolak gtu. ahhahhahaah *devil mode: on*

well, any better idea?

sucks

man... gue fail accg guee....
aduh stres sedih malu jd campur kyk nasi campur...

tpi jujur bgt dah gue mang gk bsa nh 1 sub dr awal. dan gue mang gk ska bisnis dr awal. maybe thats why its hard to like this subject.
my sister said the subject is meant to be liked but somehow i dont think so. its so hard to change people prespective.
but i say different. if i dont like this subject i will not willing to learn it eventhough its easy for most people but i really really cant understand it.
and what i like is what they dont. shit. i want to be like other people that can choose their option without any influence and it really2 impossible for me. hate it.
a little jelous with novy, she can choose it while i just stuck with MY option in business which MY OPTION with their influence. i really dont know what to do now. its so hard.
my fam said their are so embrassed but i am the one who suffer more than they think. they think i might be happy but in fact it is really shit for me. i cant understand what the lecture said because i dont like it, its not my field. yeah, business is suck. too much theory that fucks.

stress mode :on

stressss..... exam gue bakal kluar d kmis n hri ini uda slsa. omg....mna gue gk yakin pass smua lgi scra gue gk konsen ngrjainny. TT pasrah aj dh gue.

dan masalh busines membisnis ini.
jujur gue sh gk pgn msk bisnis, scra gue gk ska bisnis. (-_-)' swt cuma mau gmna nasi uda jd bubur,., aduh.

sedih dh ngeliat org2 bole ambl jurusan sesuai keinginan masing2, ya itu sesuatu yang gk pnh bsa gue dapetin. what a pity...

coba aj doraemon bner2 ada gue psti mnta dora puter balik wktu supaya gue bisa menghubah fate gue yg bner2 shit ini.

haaaahhhh.... i wish to...